Reflections for a Holiday Break
What if avoiding The Bosshole® Zone could transform your leadership approach in 2025? As we wrap up 2024, we're diving into essential strategies for managers and supervisors ready to step into the new year with renewed intent. As we prepare for a well-deserved break, let's reflect on the lessons from the past year and how those lessons shape the way we show up in the new one...
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The Bosshole® Chronicles
"Reflections for a Holiday Break"
Original Publish Date: 12/17/2024
Host: John Broer and Sara Best
John Broer: It is December 2024. Can you believe it? Everybody out there in The Bosshole Transformation Nation, this year is coming to an end, and what a remarkable year it's been. Hey everybody, this is your co-host, John Broer, and joining me in a little bit is going to be the ever, and joining me in a little bit is going to be the ever amazing and remarkable Sara Best, and we're just doing a year-end episode to close out 2024 and give our managers and our supervisors out there some food for thought.
Reflect back on the amazing things that have happened this past year but, more importantly, really think about what do we need to do to get ready for 2025. We are so appreciative of all of you out there. We're going to take a little holiday break. We're going to give ourselves a few weeks, spend time with family and friends and take inventory of all the amazing things that have been going on, and then we will pick back up with more programming on The Bosshole Chronicles in 2025, but let's just have a chat with Sara. The Bosshole Chronicles are brought to you by Real Good Ventures, a talent optimization firm helping organizations diagnose their most critical people and execution world-class with analytics. Make sure to check out all the resources in the show notes and be sure to follow us and share your feedback. Enjoy today's episode. Sara, can you believe it is December 2024? Do you believe that?
Sara Best: I, John, do not believe that it's shocking. It's exciting, it's a little scary, but yeah, I didn't realize it would go so fast.
JB: It got here so fast and we want to welcome everybody to what is going to be our last episode of 2024. We're going to take a little holiday break and just enjoy time with family and friends and reflecting back on an amazing year. We wanted to do this episode specifically reaching out to our managers out there, our supervisors that have been working so hard to stay out of the boss hole zone this year, and we thought, hey, maybe we can provide a little bit of guidance about reflecting back on what's been good and challenging, and we'd like to share some of our own with you and then think forward to 2025. How's that sound, Sara?
SB: John, that sounds great, let's do it.
JB: Let me ask you, Sara, when you think about some really significant things in 2024, as it relates to helping managers stay out of the Bosshole Zone, what are some things that stand out for you?
SB: I think, John, top of mind is the tools provided by the conscious leadership group, that being above the line, below the line, being able to consciously choose to be present to the moment versus triggered and reactive. And we have those two episodes, recent episodes, actually just in the last couple of months with Joyce Chen of the Conscious Leadership Group. I know that's toward the end of the year, but that's not why it stands out to me, because it's recent, it's because it's profoundly impactful.
JB: Oh for sure, that two-parter was amazing. Joyce is so thorough in terms of helping people understand this and I absolutely love the practical nature of that. And then, you know, you make me think also of our good friend Jason Lauritsen, who came back. He did that two-part episode on Teach From your Scars. That actually got a lot of traction. Both of them did that actually got a lot of traction.
Both of them did, and I thought you know when he shared with us his just the realization and the vulnerability of realizing that he had reached a point where he needed some supervisors listen in to this podcast. But, reflecting back on this year and thinking about, you know what are the things that I've done as a manager that has helped to lift up and develop and grow my direct reports and, at the same time, with just real, you know, sober judgment how have I stepped into the boss hole zone and when did I drift in there? Because we all do it, it happens.
I think Jason's admonition about that self-reflection and really seeking out that help and realizing he needed to go through a reset, I would say, if you're thinking about the year past and getting ready for the year ahead, that'd be another great one to listen to.
SB: I concur wholeheartedly. His story is going to resonate with people because I think, you know, a lot of us are still struggling. We have these periods of up and down, but the constant state of stress I just heard this yesterday on a different podcast, it was actually Mel Robbins the idea that 80% of us still have stress like stuck, the stress response is stuck in our body from the pandemic due to prolonged fight or flight like this.
You know it's supposed to last a short period of time. It lasted what, three years? And so, in the spirit of gosh, there's not something wrong with you. Managers have really borne the brunt of the stress in many cases through the challenges and the change curve of these organizations and how they've adapted to the post-pandemic world. So let's just agree that there's nothing wrong with you. It might be helpful to reflect this. John reminds me of another piece that I just. I'm on the email list for the Ready, one of our favorite organizations.
I think Aaron Dignan was in our first or second year of episodes. His is a really good one about a brave new work, trust and autonomy versus command and control. But in his case and maybe we can dig into this in a quick minute but the significance of reflection, the cost of not reflecting, and that's what Jason did to you know. He took time, he pulled back to evaluate, to go inward, and leaders have to make time to do that.
I hope everyone can do that sometime over the next two to three weeks. I'm actually John. You and I talked about this yesterday. I'm going to block out the first week of January so that I can get through the holiday time and then really do some important things without jumping right back into the hustle and bustle of the heavy duty client work. There has to be some more time to build things out and have reflection.
JB: Right and I think some people would would view that as a luxury is saying, wow, I just can't do that. Actually, really, you can't. I actually think that no, with, with discipline and with an understanding, talking to your direct reports, talking to your organization and saying, listen, I'm literally going to block out this time and, by the way, this could be sort of a change in your calendar, not allowing your time to be consumed by others so readily, because you know what we did learn from, was it Bill Schettinger? Wow, that was October of 23. Holy crap. So I'm actually going to go, Okay.
So if you remember from Bill Shanninger now, this was October of 23. That was a two-parter, but he talked about power to the middle and how the middle managers are really burning out. I mean, there's a huge amount of stress right there. So, for our managers out there, the discipline of quiet time, of time to reflect, shouldn't be just a a one-year thing. But can you, can you build that into your week so that you can pause and shut your, not turn your mind off, but at least sort of focus your mind on those things that are the highest and best use of your time? Because I you know what I think about sar. We've used this analogy a lot, but anybody that's ever flown on an airplane you know that when they're going through the safety protocol, what do they say? If you're flying with a child, when the oxygen mask drops down, what do you do?
SB: Yeah, you put the mask on yourself.
JB: Absolutely, because if you aren't sustaining yourself, you can't help anybody else. So I think that's so right. So let's go back. I mean let's go back to the ready. You know you had got some great suggestions in there, and would you share that with everybody?
SB: Two quick factoids. They start by talking about urgency as an epidemic, but 77% of participants in a recent, pretty giant survey they did said they face some urgent task at least every week. There's some urgency, and 62% feel pressure to prioritize urgency over efficiency. And we know what happens when we're working quickly but not effectively or efficiently. But the impact of this urgency crisis creates certainly excessive burnout and frustration because it's this constant lock and load.
But they do say the time for reflection that we're talking about, that managers need to build in, is a way to stop. They call it the swirl. Stop the swirl in its tracks like stop, notice, tune into what are the patterns and then really evaluate where's the urgency coming from. Is it a direction from a boss? Is it a perceived need of the client? Is it something I'm generating out of fear, like I don't want to lose this opportunity? I don't want to look bad. So I think there's power in that. And then the thing they recommend, john, as we move ahead to 2025, I love this how to prevent a churny start to 2025. I would like that.
JB: Yeah, yeah.
SB: Yeah, they call this an ICBD session. ICBD which stands for intentions, concerns, boundaries and dreams. This is actually an exercise that you should, you know, a conversation you should conduct with your team before your next project, or, let's say, before your next work cycle kicks off, which will be the new year. It's the opportunity to allow people to speak these ideas that are often unspoken or we forget to even say what's our intention with this, what do we want to end up with when we're done and what concerns do we have? John, you and I know firsthand from our work with our clients that those are the things that do not get mentioned or discussed at least not at the team table.
They get talked about in the back channel and one-on-one with other people in no way that produces any measurable way to address it or respond. So ICBD session. Respond so ICBD session. And I think, John, let's make sure we put in the show notes a link to this little paragraph about how to hold one of these sessions. And there's a handout the Ready, actually created a handout people can use to capture their intentions, their concerns, their boundaries and their dreams.
JB: Oh yeah, absolutely. Okay. We'll put that in the show notes and make sure to go in there and do that. We should really have Aaron Dignan back on. He was such an amazing guest. It was so nice to meet him at Optima a few years ago and he was so gracious to be on here. They're doing some really cool work. Well, speaking of people that are going to come back to the Bosshole Chronicles best-selling author, Kim Scott. Now this was back in, I think, the spring of '23. Kim joined us to talk about her book Radical Candor, and she's got a new book called Radical Respect, and I just am teeing this up because she is going to be joining us in the new year, the new season in 2025. And we're excited about that. She's so practical and just speaks very clearly and helps people understand how to work together much better.
SB: John, speaking of Kim Scott, I want to direct people to Amazon Prime, where I discovered the first ever movie book. It's called what is Radical Candor by Kim Scott, and it's actually an animated movie that explains the principles of radical candor.
JB: Oh, okay.
SB: You can share it with your team. I think it's only an hour long. You can rent it or buy it. Fascinating stuff and she's just so cool to listen to.
JB: It's a little documentary thing. Oh, I know That'll be a great one, and some other things for 2025. Actually, when I reflect back on really quick Sara 2024, we started out 2024 with our five-part series on emotional intelligence. I think that was one of our best series. And then this year we started a new series on the 17 reference profiles and I will tell you the response to that has been great. People are loving it and the whole idea is helping managers, or anybody for that matter, understand their behavioral DNA, specifically to their reference profiles, which we always invite people to go to the link in the show notes complete the PI behavioral assessment. We'll send you your one-page reference profile description.
We're going to continue with that in 2025. And so what you're going to hear from us in 2025, the programming is going to probably feel a little bit different. We're going to do the reference profiles. We're going to have subject matter expert episodes. We'll do our round tables. We're probably going to be dropping in and spreading out our episodes a little bit more, but we're going to be dropping in some shorts around, and I give Sara credit for this. What we've entitled you might be a Bosshole if and just I think we've. We've dropped a few of those on our Instagram channel. I think we've got to put them up here on this platform simply because I think they're going to be really helpful. So these are things that we're working on for 2025.
SB: So you might be a Bosshole if you are just waiting for a problematic employee to decide they need to leave. There have been at least five times this year, John, in work with our clients across the board here, I've encountered that and a leader has said something to that effect. Like I think we're just going to wait this one out. Eventually they're going to get tired of this and leave, and to that I want to say this kind of coincides with. I was hoping we could end today, when we're done here with you know what's one piece of advice going into 2025? And mine was going to be give people the gift of the truth. Give them the feedback they deserve to know what others experience working with them, and they deserve for people to be honest and candid with them, because otherwise they don't know. Yeah, that's anyhow there's my, there's my take on you might be a Bosshole if yeah, that's true.
JB: Similar to that, we'll talk about this in the new year, pretty much knowing that you've got the wrong person in the wrong role and thinking that you could provide all kinds of training or direction or whatever and hope to change that person. We've talked about this so many times.
SB: Yeah.
JB: And you know it's not going to happen.
SB: But here's the thing, John what's worse than like? It's even worse than what you describe. It's often the case, not that they want to give them training and you know, help them grow skills. They expect them to do all the work. Yeah, something is wrong with them because they're not a good fit and something's wrong with their character or they're not trying hard enough. Anyhow, we're going down a little rabbit hole here, but maybe, John, maybe that's where we should go. Next, what's a piece of advice you would share as people head into 2025? One thing for our managers to keep top of mind to make sure that they do, to stay out of the Bosshole zone.
JB: That's a great question. I would, I think, back on so many of the episodes we've had around authenticity and courage, and even from Dr Jeremy Pollack, the peace building leader, I would say your capacity to be honest and truthful and authentic is huge. I think managers that try to come off as all-knowing you're just slipping right into the boss hole zone. That vulnerability is so critical. You're human and I think when your direct reports see that in you, it's like you know what Bill Gallagher just talked about this in our very recent episodes. I don't have the answers. I'm not quite sure what's going on here. I need your help. That goes a great distance in helping bring your people together. That's not one thing.
SB: I’m sorry that was a whole bunch of things, but no, that's good and I'm, I'm reminded of a client scenario earlier this year where the CEO had kind of a rougher exterior and it's funny how, when a CEO is kind of tough like that and tough on people, the executive leadership team usually and tries really hard to take care of that person. They don't realize they're doing it, but they don't want to, they don't want to rock the boat, they don't want to hurt his or her feelings.
JB: Right.
SB: They get kind of weird about stuff. But in any case, even though a leader can can have that external rough, you know way of dealing with things on the outside, as long as they can say and admit the truth, like this is something I know, I do.
JB: Right.
SB: It just changes everything in the environment on the team. If they can be honest about yeah, I know the problem is me. Oh my gosh. That's really all people sometimes need to hear, and then they can say well, it's not just you, I'm part of the problem too, and then you get to solutions.
JB: Yeah.
SB: Pretty powerful.
JB: It is powerful. It is powerful, and let me tell you what else is powerful, Sara, as we wrap things up. The Bosshole Transformation Nation is a powerful force out there and we would be remiss in terms of reflecting on these over four years of publishing episodes of the Bosshole Chronicles if we did not thank all of you out there, our audience, the Bosshole Transformation Nation, and we absolutely appreciate how you have shared and continue to promote and let people know about this podcast in the spirit of helping other people get better at what they do.
SB: Can I just interject here for a second? Sure, you know I've shared this with a few clients and maybe in a few keynote presentations. But when we talk about the podcast, I can readily admit I did not want to do this. This was, this was your brainchild, when you know, when we started Real Good Ventures, you said, hey, let's do this podcast. We knew that we, we had something special with the term "Bosshole. You worked hard to trademark that term. But I look back now and marvel at what consistency has been created and I have to give you the credit for the fact that the Bosshole Chronicles is in the top 10% of podcasts globally. So I'm not trying to toot our own horn here, but the learning for me, the humility for me, is you don't know everything and just because something is scary and different or it seems, like it might be hard to do doesn't mean you don't do it and you don't trust people. I needed to trust you to figure out how to do this, and you've done an amazing job, so thanks for that and congratulations.
JB: Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, and again to all of our listeners, keep telling people about it and using it. We love doing it. And, by the way, for somebody that maybe had not wanted to do the podcast, you're a natural, Sara. I mean seriously. You no-transcript vindictive to a former Bosshole. It is about helping people learn.
SB: And John. Can I add to that?
JB: Yeah.
SB: If you do have a story, we're as interested to know what helped you on your end, because I do think it takes two people to tango, even when Bossholes are alive and well. There's something that happens to us when we respond, so I also love hearing about how the individual learned. What did you learn? How did you survive and thrive through that and learn and grow?
JB: Well, listen everybody. We are wishing you a blessed holiday season, sarah. Have a Merry Christmas.
SB: Thanks, John, you too, and to all our listeners, stay healthy and well and we'll see you in 2025.
JB: Thanks very much for checking out this episode of the Bosshole Chronicles. It was so good to have you here. And if you have your own boss hole story that you want to share with the Bosshole Chronicles, it was so good to have you here. And if you have your own Bosshole story that you want to share with the Bosshole Transformation Nation, just reach out. You can email us at mystory@thebossholechronicles.com. Again, mystory@thebossholechronicles.com, we'll see you next time.